People talk about wanting to spend those special moments with those they love and celebrate happiness together. But I feel like I don’t want just that. I also want to spend the bad, horrible, and disgusting times with you. I want to know how it feels like to get sick of you and be mad or upset with you. I want to go through failure or grief or loss with you together and figure out what does tension mean in our relationship. Because I want to learn how that feels like and how we can navigate that, not just alone in our angered and distant states that drive us apart, but in the moments of supporting and finding humility in ourselves and each other despite discomfort, in the times of change, strengths, and flaws we both possess, and emerging from it and deciding: do I/do we still want to do this together? As much as I may be upset, mad, or downright hate you in moments, maybe there is that ridiculous gut feeling--or feelings of the heart and mind--that I still want to hold your hand through it and fight these monsters together. It’s not going to be easy. But who said that fighting monsters were? Maybe it just takes an occasional reminder like this one to put things into perspective in all the adventures, decisions, and choices we CHOOSE to make. Or let go. And maybe that is okay too.
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thoughts on love on a sleepy friday morn.
things that life, especially my kids at Wediko have made me realise what I feel so strongly about--values I twirl in my head when contemplating the complexities of life.
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