art: the way i see it.

Introduction to Painting was one of the most frustrating and challenging classes I have been in. Andrea, my art professor seemed to have very good intuition as to what she thought I was capable of and gave me a hard time at many instances when I painted.  I have her to thank for helping change many of the ways in which I looked at the world and art.  But then again, my gut tells me that they are two of the same thing.

October 2013

I started out in the class with little to no expectation, perhaps with a little bit of apprehension because of my lack of experience in painting and perhaps the fear of being intimidated by other more experienced students.  However, as I started to find my footing a little bit more, I found myself more comfortable in what I was doing and painting in front of other people (though I am still trying my best).  I remember being very frustrated with myself in the landscape painting because I wasn't satisfied with my painting, so, I went back and redid the whole thing until I was satisfied.  

I realised that I worked best when I didn't worry too much about the people around me or of what other people thought of my work.  But I also feel I have to be wary of my obsession over minute details, being too hard on myself, and just to have a little bit more faith in what I am capable of doing.  I learnt how to look at things differently--not just in the assumed images of how we think it should look like but how it really is.  On the other hand, it was also nice to have the freedom to paint abstractly and not hyper realistically all the time, redefining art as capable of being anything we want it to be.  Overall, it has been one of the most challenging but satisfying classes for me and I look forward to push myself a little more each day.

December 2013

I  think in the beginning, I was rather hesitant in taking the Introduction to Painting class because of my doubts with my artistic abilities in comparison with everyone else whom I assumed were of a higher level than me. Art has always been something I was passionate about but I had never taken a formal painting class before or thought I was capable of integrating it into my study at Hampshire. However, coming to this painting class was a very different experience than what I pictured in my head. And this became a reoccuring theme throughout my painting classes—the idea to always look at things from more than one perspective. I guess the class challenged me to look at art and everything else in ways I never thought I could.

Coming in to the class with more rigid exposure to mainly realist paintings and conventional ideas of what art can be, I found myself constantly pushed to challenge that very ideal. 

I remember painting a nude model and being probed by my professor to do something outrageous or crazy. And I remember painting the arm pink, the thigh blue and just stopping myself from overthinking but just going with the flow. I recall her asking me why sometimes I didn't show all these different colours I used in that painting. I think that was another big turning point for me as an “artist” because I discovered a little bit more about myself. I realised that sometimes I don't have enough confidence or faith in myself when it comes to being brave and just throwing out the colours I really wanted to use. I tended to cover it by using safe colours so that I wouldn't stand out or be labelled as “different” or my paintings to be viewed as “ugly”. However, this painting class and the openness and non-judgmental setting I experienced this semester did change the way I viewed my paintings and the paintings around me. I really felt the freedom to grow, even though I did and am still challenged by my fears or qualms on my art work, I feel I have come out of my shell even if just a little bit more and the lines between a good and bad painting are more blurred and widened now.

The only thing I regret is not having enough time throughout the semester to devote to my sketchbook and really explore how far my imagination and mind could take me but this art endeavour of mine has not ended; I have been growingly interested in art therapy and how art can be a means of communication and self-expression for society, so, I am looking forward to more art engagement in the future!  

I think my final painting project represents a big deal of what I learnt throughout the semester, be it symbolically or literally. I did a body-sized abstract painting which I would not imagine my old self doing because of the fear that it isn't your conventional kind of art or beauty. But having gained a little bit more confidence and a different perspective, it really challenged me to put aside those doubts and just paint to my heart's content, without overthinking it. And in truth, it felt really good. I guess sometimes, the best moments to paint are when you least expect it. Gerhard Richter, an artist which I researched on for my final art project, once said something that I felt reflected what I gained from the project; he said that to explain or describe a painting is almost pointless because if you could do that, you are better of using words or language. Paintings are for when you can't find any words to express yourself and I think that is what I have found painting to be, so far.