A Day In The Life

June 9, Tuesday
Alarm rings. 6.30 am. I’ll snooze for a bit. 1 minute later, 7.35 am. WHAT. I stumble out, change, brush my teeth, grab a banana, my lunch, and go. 7.50am, I’m getting on the bus. 8.02am, I’m walking through the school entrance. I enter the classroom and say hello to the two teachers Ms. R & Ms. M and the assistant teacher (AT), Mr. N—we get a little excited for the half day today. Ms. R says thank you for putting all the kids’ work into clear sheets, she and Ms. M were floored when they realized I also arranged them alphabetically yesterday, she said, I blush a little. If there’s one thing to compensate for my hesitancy to speak up as much these pass few weeks, it would be my organizational skills. Good job, Andrea.

8.15am, kids file in. Cheerleader by Iyaz is on the Spotify playlist that we have every morning and I feel extra happy today for some reason. Geronimo by Sheppard, Shut Up and Dance by Walk The Moon, and Budapest by George Ezra also did this to me a few days back. I discreetly shuffle to the middle aisle of the room and start slipping in some shoulder shaking, head bobs, knee wobbling, and feet tapping to the beat of the song. Kids are unpacking their bags and getting their writing materials before they get to the rug to start the day. I walk down the side aisle and Q half-jumps at me, “Guess what’s happening tomorrow?!” I get excited that I remember this from last week when I saw her rehearsing lines for Gabriella’s part for the HSM play. “The play!!!” I say. And Q goes on with the most excitement you can possibly imagine about having two full rehearsals back-to-back today and how the school double casts the plays. In that way, each kid gets to be in an important and a not-so-important role—at the end, there will be two showings. I like this idea of not getting any kid to feel left out. I try make a mental note to ask Q when exactly the play is and if I could buy tickets. I decided to save my money and not go for a broadway show even though I’m in NYC but maybe I can afford a school play that’s going to be even more awesome!

Next to me, MB groans as he looks at the first thing on the schedule: Writing: First Draft for Sections 1 & 2, “I’m so behind! I don’t even have a draft. I missed SEVEN DAYS.” I remember seeing his empty chair last week and heard something about a stomach virus, “Hey, I’m sure you’re going to catch up, okay. What happened? Were you sick?” “Yea,” he says and doesn’t elaborate. “Are you better?” “Yea,” he says again, ending the conversation. “Well, good. That’s good.” I try to smile. He looks at me, maybe there was a slight curve up with his lips, I’m not sure. I’m slowly getting my way through MB. He’s always been on the quieter and more apathetic side of things when I talk to him. But he does hold the conversation and I’m glad he’s even open to starting a conversation with me. Sometimes, we undervalue the importance of trust and building relationships, especially with the younger ones. It takes time. It is not overnight. I know this. But if you stick around, sometimes, the progress will amaze you.

All the kids are seated on the rug for the first few minutes of the day to run through the schedule, except for ZS who stays at his desk which is close to the rug. He feels more comfortable sitting on the chair. Sometimes, he puts his head down or looks around the room with this unsaid sense of curiosity and notices the most intricate of things you wouldn’t be thinking of. He is sometimes in his own world but sometimes, his attention to detail can surprise you in the most unsuspecting times. You can tell that he always wants to be in the know of what is happening. Yesterday, he came in with some tears. I didn’t catch the whole conversation but I remember not seeing him last Friday when we had a field trip to Colonial Dames Mansion and the kids got to dress up in colonial clothing. I guessed that may have something to do with it. He bounced back fast though, as if he was half-consoling himself in a way, “Well, at least I know what I want to dress up for Halloween now.” Ms. M and Ms. R were doing such a great job as always, drawing him to look at the brighter side and speaking with ease and calm as they always do when handling emotionally-charged situations. Need to remind myself to learn from that. Yesterday, the kids did this activity of reading a quote from a jar and explaining what it means—the quote was “Everything you can imagine is real.” ZB’s hand shot up and with the most wide-eyed wonder, almost absent-minded, of an expression he said, “I guess it means that everything that you can imagine is always real in your heart.” And I was floored right there and my heart started melting inside. Oh my gosh, how do these unassuming kids come up with such strong words? Ridiculous.

Before kids go back to their desks to work independently on their writing, Ms. R & Ms. M briefly review what they did the last class. What I like about the way they do this is that instead of just lecturing/telling the kids, they ask questions in the beginning and get them drawing out prior knowledge—they talk about how they’ve finished researching and the next step in the writing process is drafting. This makes me think of the good structure they have in place in teaching kids how to write—I don’t remember having this in school. Few days back, they went through it: brainstorm, choose a topic, research, draft, publish and I was actually taking notes myself because I thought it would help me with my future writing…in COLLEGE. I then think about Malaysia and how we need to improve the teaching of English as well as writing in any language really. Less about some template to always use for exams but rather go through the writing process and different writing styles we can use—kids talked about writing with questions and answers, cause and effect, etc. However, one thing I am still a bit iffy about is the tendency of fishing out particularly words or answers that they want to hear. I’m wondering how that affects how kids understand right vs. wrong. I don’t want learners to only want to get that exact word I’m thinking about—what if they thought about the concept but just using a different word? That would be acceptable too, no? We may want to steer away from the trap of getting kids to regurgitate what was said instead of thinking critically and using their own words to express their understanding. Hm.

The class also has a fuzzy system as kind of an extrinsic motivator for the kids to participate or behave well. You get a fuzzy if you manage to answer a question well or perform a good behavior—something like positive behavior support that I learnt in my class last semester. My thoughts on this has evolved quite greatly since my final paper on intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation and then throughout my time in P.S. 6, personally giving students fuzzies, observing others give and get fuzzies, and then seeing the kids come together every week to competitively count the fuzzy points for their table and get rewarded if their table has the highest amount of fuzzies. I also see the occasional fights and allegations that break out among tables accusing people of stealing or adding fuzzier that aren’t their’s into their jars for the sake of winning. 1. I think the kids have the goal wrong—it is not about winning only. This fuzzy system was first created for behavior and in some occasions, it backfires but, I mean, even in any game, unhealthy competition happens, but perhaps it calls for the need to regulate and coaches and teachers to be more aware, preventative, and engaged in figuring out how best to navigate these situations. 2. As ugly as these fights can sometimes be, it can also be a good time and situation for a lesson in honesty and the honor code. I think it provides a good scene in which kids can relate and are actually in the scenario to understand the different factors involved. With good facilitation and use of this occasion as a moral lesson, we may be able to get kids to think critically about how they act, their behavior and how it can transfer to bigger situations in the world.

We watched Liberty’s Kids next period which is a cool historical fiction TV series designed for kids studying the American Revolution! The amount of sources that are out there—the songs and all the cool commercials—it’s amazing how fun the learning seems to be. Makes me think about ways we can make content more fun and exciting for learning, especially in Malaysia. However, the kids did struggle once or twice when they just watched it without Mr. N stopping at certain points and allowing them to have a discussion about what just happened. I think this says something about technology and using it right and in compliment with your teaching as opposed to replacing what you need to teach.

Next period, music—one of those specialty classes that the kids travel to another classroom to be taught by another teacher (same goes with Science, Media, P.E.). Music class is taught by an older teacher, who reminds me of everything a traditional classroom looks like. Mr. N even told me to pay attention and try comparing the situation in the music classroom with the regular classroom atmosphere we have usually. Let me tell you, it is different, to say the least. Ms. W screams around 15 times throughout the class to be quiet, she really beats down hard in scolding the kids who talk too loud or even slightly when she is speaking. She even reprimanded us teachers twice—once, for not looking at her and only her in the classroom (I was distracted by a boy, J in the class who was slightly making a scene and I was trying to somehow calm him down) and another time for sitting too silently and not help her quiet the class down. She did this in front of all the children. She called us out. She resorts to giving people bench time at lunch quite easily. A lot of the kids are either scared, despise the class, or try to get out of it (two of them tried going to the bathroom right before the class which I reluctantly allowed only to get to class late and have Ms. W apprehend us teachers for letting her start the class without telling her that there were kids missing). Having said that, my first day in the class, Ms. W greeted me with a warm bear hug and a firm handshake. She ensured that I had a good chair to sit on and asked what my name was. When I said I went to Hampshire College, her eyes lit up because she went to Bennington—a similar college in Vermont. I was glad. While I was taken aback by her roaring voice and very fervent focus on getting the kids seated at just the right shape of a semicircle rather than just get on with her lesson, I did sense that she meant well. She even said several times to the class “I love you and I don’t like doing this (scolding them).” Nonetheless, when I enter the class as a kind of “assistant teacher,” I admit that I fear being reprimanded and making a mistake or being scolded for the most trivial things like taking my eyesight away from her for a split second, slouching too significantly on the chair, being too noisy, being too quiet and not helping her quiet down the class, paying attention to her, getting kids to pay attention to her, and the list goes on. And I guess I want to say that if my list of worries and fears being in that classroom for only once a week for a month now is this long, I can only imagine the many qualms the kids have. I can even tell by the amount of people asking to go to the nurse and bathroom right before music. I feel I have to ask myself: is true learning happening here? As disheartening as this atmosphere can be in terms of our efforts to transform education and learning to be something enjoyable, I feel like I can see this setting quite commonly in so many classrooms across the world. Maybe I have been accustomed to a more progressive education setting at Hampshire but when I reflect more, I realize the similar patterns I have experienced in primary school and high school just like this one. It just didn’t seem as out of place, last time, because this whole establishing order and consequences in the form of strict punishment was a more general practice that it made it seem in the norm. Now, having experienced progressive and more collaborative settings, I realized that I am growing more uncomfortable with the former setting—but for a valid reason, in my opinion. I guess that’s just where I’m at when I think about effective and conducive learning—not in an environment that learners fear failure.

Kids then detour to the 1st grade classroom to meet their buddies! A system set in place in hopes of getting the 4th graders to guide the 1st graders, each having their own buddy. We sang (shouted) Budapest and Good Time together. Then, the 1st graders showed their mentors the picture book stories they created. I saw some good stuff: 4th graders who were, at times, inattentive or apathetic during regular class time actually treating their buddy well, taking care of them, or even just respecting their buddy and listening to the 1st grader tell his or her story. All of it reminding of the value of collaboration and the zone of proximal development (ZPD) that I learnt in class.

We head back to class and we celebrate coz we will be watching another episode of Liberty’s Kids. School’s out and I am so spent and it is only a half-day. I go back and swim in my awesome time alone for the rest of the day. 

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Whew. Didn’t think I’d make it. Writing down my thoughts throughout the day is more tiring than I thought. Will try again tomorrow or the next day. Takes a while to flesh out.